On the 24 November 2021, my Queen and incredible Nonna Lucia fell asleep for the final time and went on to join my Nonno Franco in a better place. Over the last 2.5 years, she has been part of this blog, popping up in my stories and photo shoots. But there is so much more to her than what the world has seen these past two years and I want to tell her story.

Lucia di Bella was born on 13 December 1928 in the foothills of Mt Etna in a little Sicilian village called San Giovanni Montebello. She was the youngest of three children, with her older brother and sister Giovanni and Maria. She only went to school until the age of 14 and was excellent at Maths. Even in the last year, she was able to answer arithmetic questions when asked – definitely not a skill passed down to me!

Having left school, she was sent to Le Suore (the nuns) to learn embroidery and sewing and would help her sister Maria (who was a great dressmaker) when required. We would often bring round skirts, dresses that required the hem taking up and shirts that needed buttons replacing. I remember bringing a dress round to her once and she told me off as I wanted too much taken off…after much back and forth..she won the battle – Nonna knows best. More recently, we got her back into knitting and family and friends have all been graced with an item or 2 from her collection. My room is covered in cushions which she completed with the help of my Mum and I recall many moments where she was told to do 20 stitches for example and would end up with some lines with more than double as she would get distracted and lose count – but honestly, I just think it adds character. In fact, she would often blame the mistakes on my Mum, saying that she had been the one to knit those lines!

Little is known about her life during World War Two, it wasn’t a topic she liked to talk about. So let’s fast forward to after the war. In the mid 50s, her brother had immigrated to Australia and was in the process of transferring his entire family to start a new life Down Under. However, as her sister got cold feet, they decided to stay put in the town of Giarre. This was just as well, as had they moved to the opposite side of the Earth, my Nonna would never have met the love of her life, my Nonno Franco. However, it was not without drama. Nonna’s parents were against the idea of her marrying this chap from Caserta who was travelling all over playing the clarinet in a band. They knew nothing about him, so they asked the priest in Giarre to contact the priest in my Nonno’s hometown Alife, to find out if he was from a good family. Proper old school matchmaking systems at play here. Obviously, they got the ok so fast forward to their wedding day in 1957, Nonna was ready in her wedding dress but the groom was nowhere to be seen! Nonna’s Dad, turned round and said to Nonna, “I told you not to get married to a foreigner as they can’t be trusted” – because Caserta was such a foreign land to Sicilians. So Nonna asked Nonno’s music Maestro Marroni if he knew where Nonno could be. And he tried to reassure her that he would turn up. Eventually Nonno turned up after a couple hours, tired, panicking and with a lot of explaining to do. He had gone to play his clarinet at a funeral as they were paying him a lot to do so. He wasn’t going to tell Nonna what the event was, to avoid upsetting her but he also didn’t want to lie to her, so he told the truth. Nonna said that this terrified her but then she saw sense because it meant they could pay for the flowers in the church. 

She has always loved flowers, her garden was always full of beautiful blooms and she would often go for a stroll and admire her colourful hydrangeas and incredible roses. Her kitchen windowsill is an Orchid garden, there are plants all over her house that are always thriving – again, not a trait passed down to me. Christmas 2020, we decided to get Nonna a Christmas tree and decorate the house, but this meant moving her most treasured plant in the living room. She moaned and said that the temporary spot was going to damage the plant and honestly I think we ended up being so stressed about it that we constantly checked to see it was doing ok and not losing any leaves. Needless to say, we all let out a sigh of relief when it was finally moved back to its rightful spot and it is still thriving today.

After my Zio Mario was born in 1958, my Nonna and Nonno joined the thousands of Italians who moved to the UK in the 1960s in search of a better life and in 1965, my Mum Anna, was born. They settled at 121 Green Lanes above a Laundrette before moving to their forever home in Newington Green along with half of Alife. Over the 60s and 70s my Nonna would have different jobs including a cleaner at Clissold Park School, working in restaurants and sowing for locals. She even worked in KFC and would bring home the secret ingredients to make the crispy chicken at home – but shhh don’t tell anyone I told you. 

My Nonna was a woman of faith and was proud to be a ConSorella. She would say her rosary every day and Santa Rita was her favourite Saint and she would say the prayer found in the order of service everyday. She would attend mass here every week even up to June of this year but when it wasn’t possible, she would follow the mass from the Vatican every week without fail from home.

Even though she loved her home of Sicily, she really loved spending time in Alife, and would spend months there at a time over the summer with my Nonno. Going to the different sagre, listening to live bands and enjoying the warm weather. I remember those long summers when they were away, only getting to speak to them on the phone every once in a while, but you could hear the joy in her voice in between asking what we had eaten that day. When they came home, the first lunch back at Nonna’s house was always filled with our favourites, Pasta Genovese – if you know, you know, roasted peppers done in my favourite way and however many sfogliatelle she was able to smuggle through customs. A few years ago, we were able to bring her to Sicily to celebrate my Zio’s 60th Birthday. It was lovely for her to be back in her hometown, to see how things had changed and also spend time with friends and family after so long.

Growing up, I remember spending lots of time with my Nonna, either at my home in Southgate, North London or at her house for one of her epic Sunday lunches. Sometimes, she would stay over and babysit with my Nonno and I remember her coming into our rooms to check on us, make sure we said our prayers and to stop chit-chatting. Once I got my driving license, I would drive her home in my little FIAT 500, and watching her try and get into the back was always funny (and definitely not the most convenient). When I got my new car last year, I took it round to show her and get the seal of approval – no more struggling to get in the back for her! I got the thumbs up, “che Bella sta macchina” but not without a “vai piano, stai attenta”. 

I would like to fast forward time just a little, and focus on the last few years. In October 2019, my Nonna joined me at my Mum’s home in Italy for an extended stay. Plans had to change as a result, but looking back I am so grateful to have had the time with her, even if we had to go through some tricky moments. As you all know, my time out there was to be spent learning more about cooking, and what better person to learn from than my Nonna Lucia.

She started bossing me around the kitchen, wanting to be in total control of what was going where and when I asked her how much salt, wine, basil, she could never give me an answer. Everything was al’occhio, so I had to simply figure it out. But we got to make some delicious dishes together, including her bolognese, pollo cacciatora and most famously her maccheroni. Now these were a bit of a disaster as surprisingly we couldn’t find the right flour in the supermarket, so her usual method wasn’t going quite to plan, but with lots of determination, and many many hours later, we were left with a mostly wonderful, edible batch of maccheroni. She had this technique that used umbrella wires, and I remember talking about this before we even got to Italy and I told her to bring her special ones with her, and so space was made for them in her suitcase. I caught the whole process on camera and shared it with the rest of the family and is a video I will cherish forever.

She didn’t just help with the cooking though, she became my hand model in my photoshoots, we would go on trips to the supermarket where I would catch her trying a grape to “test it out” and look out for bargains. We would bring home the magazine from Eurospin and she would love to read through and see what deals were on for the week. Although we did a lot together with my Mum and family, we also had moments alone where we would go for a lovely lunch, Nonna would say she wasn’t hungry, the waitress would take a liking to her (she always had that effect on people) and we would end up consuming a three course meal with Vino and Caffé to finish off and don’t worry, she always polished off the dessert, because as many of you may know, my Nonna really had a sweet tooth. Firm favourites included custard tarts which my sister Chiara would bring, trifle and doughnuts my brother Fabio would bring! No matter what we were eating, there was always room for a dolce.

2020 hits along with a national lockdown and for months, we could only see my Nonna from the doorstep. She was fortunate to have my Mum with her but it was really difficult for her not having her family around as regularly as normal. No Sunday lunches or mid week visits, and even when restrictions were lifted we all had to take extra care to protect her at all costs. Fast-forward again to lockdown 2.0 and I had to move in with Nonna and Mum for what was meant to be a 2 week stay…this turned into 4 months with them. I got to spend even more time with my incredible Nonna. Although, in her eyes I was causing chaos in her house. I had brought all my cooking gear and was constantly in the kitchen, baking bread or something under her watchful eye. She would come in and tease me, ask if I was contributing to the gas and electricity bill and I responded with yes in the form of food. But I also picked up on her little habits, including her complaining that the hand towel was always wet and we needed to put it on the radiator. One day, my Mum and I purposely put out a dry, clean towel to see what she would say…and low and behold “Ma e’ bagnato!” 

We had to find ways to keep ourselves entertained, we tried to get her into Strictly Come Dancing, we watched Eredità and I Soliti Ignoti every day. My Mum became my Nonna’s hairdresser and because Nonna was super vain, there was constant bickering when she was getting her hair done as it was never how she liked it. This bickering would end in tears of laughter and it was always a stressful yet entertaining process. We went all out for her 92nd Birthday with a huge balloon, lots of Lola’s Cupcakes and presents and decorated the house beautifully for Christmas. And even though our Christmas Day went from a big family affair to just my Nonna, Mum and I, it was amazing, to see her with her crown, pulling open the crackers, counting how many presents she got or pigs in blankets. We laughed, we cried, we made memories. Silver linings. 

The last 10 months have been filled with ups and downs, hospital trips, difficult and beautiful moments. On the warmer sunnier days, we would spend time together out in the garden where she would admire her flowers and show them off to whoever had come to pay a visit. It was amazing to see how much she would brighten up when someone came to visit. She would get all giddy and excited and just be happy to have more company. As a family, we would do our best to see her as often as we could, even if it was just for a quick cup of tea or a Chinese takeaway (she loved the duck pancakes). 

The last couple months were probably the longest I had been apart from my Nonna for a long long time. Trips abroad, hospital stays and restrictions meant that I wasn’t able to see her except for the odd time on FaceTime which, considering how much time I had had with her over the last 2 years, was really tough. But we did our best to communicate with her as much as we could, got her to sing her little songs when she felt up to it, spread some joy and positivity despite the difficult situation. 

There is one important thing I want to mention. My Nonna was diagnosed with Dementia a few years ago. We were fortunate that the symptoms only started to manifest themselves so late in her life, but it did mean that as a family, we needed to care for her more and more as time went on, with my Zia and Zio moving in to care for her and taking it in turns with my Mum who would come over from Italy. In the last year or so, her symptoms worsened and it became clear that more help was needed. My Mum reached out to Carers First and St Joseph’s Hospice for advice and support and they have been so incredibly great, not just with helping to care for my Nonna when required, but also provide the much needed support to my Mum, my Zio and the family. Being a carer is not easy, especially when you are caring for your parents. I’d like to take this opportunity to say to anyone out there who is currently caring for a family member or who will become one in the future, and not just someone with dementia, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Contact Carers First or your local hospice centre and they will become your guardian angel during the darkest times. Dementia is a horrible disease and whilst you will see your family member change over time, remind yourself that the person you knew is still in there, that they still love you and that no doubt they appreciate everything you are doing for them even if at the time, their tempers may be high and the words they say may be hurtful. Be patient, be calm, take a deep breathe but most importantly, don’t suffer alone. Reach out, there will always be someone ready and waiting to help you. If you would like and are able to donate anything to Carers First and St Joseph’s Hospice, please do so directly via their websites. We haven’t set up a personal link, but the money will go straight to them so they can continue to provide the incredible services that we have been able to use:

https://www.carersfirst.org.uk/get-involved/donate/

https://www.stjh.org.uk/support-us/make-a-donation/

Finally, I would like to thank you all for your loving and caring words over the past few months. My Nonna became part of my blogging and Instagram world and it was amazing to see the effect she had on people even though she had never met them. I am hoping to share some of her famous recipes with you all one day, it will be a way to continue her memory and have her close.

Resta in Pace Nonna Lucia. Ti Voglio Un Mondo di Bene ❤️